Hi, My Name is…

Let Me Reintroduce Myself.

First, let me explain. If you missed my most recent Facebook post, I have included it below. Later, I will explain my reasoning for this change and why it was vital for me to make the switch. 

What’s in a name?

Some of you might have noticed I changed my name to my pen name

Donna Lynn Lito.

I am leaving behind a chapter of my life that no longer serves me, a name I have outgrown, and an identity that is now unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

I am ready to embark on my next adventure, where I have the freedom of authenticity.

But it’s still me. I’m still here—the same woman who is curious, compassionate, kind, and full of wonder.

Now, just a bit wiser, more unapologetic, fierce, and ever so feisty.

All the things that make me a writer, a woman, a seeker, a truth-teller, and a believer in the magic that lives in all of us.

I welcome you to ride beside me as I discuss the things that make us human in this messy chaos called

life.

Let me reintroduce myself,

Ms. Donna Lynn Lito.

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Now that you have some context, I want to share my feelings and motivations about the name change. I have been calling myself DonnaLito for some time, but I thought having one name like Oprah or Cher would be pretentious and just didn’t feel right. 

My middle name, Lynn, has always been my favorite name, and it’s familiar. As a child, my family called me “Lynnie” or “Donna Lynn.” Rarely was I referred to as just Donna until I reached school age and hadn’t thought to tell my schoolmates what they called me at home.

 So, it did feel natural to keep Donna Lynn as my name. I was asked why I hadn’t changed my first name as well, but truthfully, I like my name, and I am proud of that name. It would be too weird to be called anything else because I identify and remain comfortable with that name.   

So now the question about my last name.

When I married at twenty-three, I took my then spouse’s last name. At the time, I was proud of it and wanted a unified name as a family. As the revelation that the marriage was an inauthentic sham, where I was being depleted of my emotional dignity, I began to loathe my association with the same last name. That last name holds imaginary clout in a world of inauthenticity and pretentiousness.  A world I never belonged in, a world where I was shunned and made inadequate amongst people with very different ethics. (Not necessarily wrong, just never a place where I fit nor had any desire to entertain.) 

What I mean is having my name associated with people, places, and things that don’t align with my values undermines my ability to be free from a life that insufficiently coincides with my identity. Now divorced and free to live life on my terms, the thought of keeping the name I have had for the past twenty-five years feels, well, honestly, nauseatingly uncomfortable.  

Furthermore, I write on diverse topics that, later in life, I don’t want my children to be held back by my views. As it is, I hear their dismay about my open dialogue with my readers, and to protect them, I thought it best to put some distance. My old self would be so attached to their last name as their mother that I would never have made this decision. Though older and wiser, I am no longer defined by motherhood. If you follow me, you know that it has been a journey and challenge, and I can now safely say I have grown into a woman who is no longer desperate to be defined by motherhood alone.  

Even more so, friends, I want my own name. I want a name that I have evolved into, one that doesn’t bind me to my past or remind me that I allowed another human to cause toxic and detrimental harm to my well-being. A name that in the past has left me depleted of my confidence, trust, and ability to know my worth.  

I have moved onward and upward to a life that entails a better, stronger, and more authentic version. A life that I envisioned for myself before being blinded by self-inflicted “nice girl” syndrome. You know, where you completely lose sight of yourself for the good of your family to be accommodating so as not to cause conflict. 

Well, yeah, I’m fucking over that one for sure. I had to literally rewire my brain from that thought process. However, what emerged from it was beautiful and magical– it was the revolution against putting everyone first and keeping myself small for the comfort of others. 

So, Lito, where did it come from? 

According to Seven Reflections, Lito means, 

“You always bring to completion anything you start. You are generous but like to see returns from your giving. You have an executive ability, and you are a leader. You are moral, balanced, honest, and intellectual attain spirituality. You are wise and practical with an appreciation of beauty. You are always looking for an opportunity to achieve financial and emotional security. You are a peacemaker. You understand the law of harmony and desire to balance your life with those around you. You may feel incomplete without someone to share your love, ideals, wealth, or work. You have developed intuition, patience, and the ability to nurture others.”

So there you have it! I couldn’t think of a more fitting last name. 

As always, I wanted to be as transparent as possible and will continue to write my truth about the messy chaos of life. 

I can now share my life experiences without fearing my children will be held accountable while protecting them from the life of a truth-telling, tenacious, sometimes controversial writer. 

That being said, I also strongly desire to move forward with my life. I now have a partner who is my equal, my confidant, my biggest supporter, and my greatest love. He has taught me so much about life, love, vulnerability, and trust. We walk the path of life together, yet I embrace my independence and autonomy, knowing he will celebrate my ambitions with his whole heart. 

These past years, I have grown immensely. I am excited for my future endeavors where Donna Lynn Lito lives unapologetically bold, tenacious, authentic, and peaceful. With or without the name change, I know now I was enough all along. 

Write on my readers,

With love and gratitude,

DLL