The beginning of 2024 has certainly been eventful. I have a release date for my novel Securely Insecure for April 1st, and I have completed my latest manuscript, Letting Go, which is now with my editor. Currently, I am working on some rough ideas for the spinoff of Securely Insecure– Myra’s Story. 

All the while, I am finishing my thesis for my master’s degree while preparing for graduation in May 2024 with a 4.0. The little girl with the learning disability never could have imagined this! 

This milestone is important to me in so many ways. I entered the graduate program during the worst period of my life. It was the middle of the pandemic. I had brain surgery, and a stroke, and was involved in a terrible accident, all while dealing with the ultimate betrayal and demise of my twenty-two-year marriage. 

My confidence and faith were tested, but I clung to my determination to walk through the fire and make it to the other side. I knew I was more than the trauma I had endured. 

It wasn’t always easy, but I learned a great deal during that period. I turned pain into purpose, faith into belief, and fear into fuck it. 

In the beginning, saying I was scared would be an understatement. I was broken physically and emotionally, abused and used, and left questioning everything that I believed to be true. 

I had two choices: let life swallow me whole or come back swinging. (A beloved saying from my father.) I clearly chose the latter. Not because it was easy but because the fighter inside knew I was more than the shit deal I was dealt. 

I have since left the past behind, knowing my worth, knowing my strength, and being confident in my abilities. The truth is, I always knew, but being constantly beaten down, somewhere I got lost. 

I keep a quote hanging in my home that says, “Get up. No one is coming to save you,” this is my daily reminder to make it happen. Face your fears and do it anyway. 

Do it, sad. Do it, tired. Do it uncertain. Do it, weary. Do it because no one is going to save you. Do it because you are more than your scars. Do it because those scars placed upon you prove you are alive. Prove that you survived. Prove that you are more capable than you think. 

And so, I have been doing just that. Not always gracefully, but as I complete my degree, publish my books, and plan for my future, the doubter has proved to be a liar. 

The voice that echoed “You Can’t” was wrong. I can. I did. 

The voice that said, “You are not good enough, smart enough, or interesting enough, was false.”  The voice that screamed no one will ever want you is horseshit. 

Ya see, it doesn’t matter who wants me; I want me, and that’s all that matters now. It just so happens, though, that by loving myself, I am more lovable. By believing in myself, I am more powerful, by being nonnegotiable of my worth, I am genuinely valued.  

So when the insecurities come banging on your door, quiet the dark voices and believe in yourself and your ability to overcome the shadows.  And when the naysayers come around, and they will, just keep moving forward. There is magic on the other side.  

And that is what these last years have been- learning to love despite the pain, betrayal, and abuse and having the courage to start over. Begin again. Become more, Fight through the insecurities, and Embrace being Securely Insecure. 

I have arrived. I am here. I am living my truth. I am authentic, raw, tenacious, and unapologetic. I realize now that it doesn’t matter how long it takes. What’s important is not giving up, having faith, and knowing the voices in your head are bullshit. 

My hope for you is to armor up and fight those voices. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate making it this far. 

As Lynnie says in Securely Insecure, 

“Life will go on. It always does.” 

Write on, friends.

Donna Lynn Lito