Greetings,

Face your fear, and dammit do it anyway! How many of us are afraid to embark on life because of fear of the outcome? 

What if it is too much of a struggle? What if I look stupid?

I challenge you to imagine, 

WHAT. IF. 

As I prepare for the release of “Securely Insecure,” I am hard at work with a new concept for my next manuscript. This story came to me as I reflected on the strife I have experienced throughout my life. Getting to where I am today has been a struggle. It has made me tenacious, determined, and occasionally feisty, providing me with relentless resilience. 

If you listened to my first podcast, I discussed how my desire to become a writer started as a child. I didn’t mention that I struggled to read for most of my youth. As you can imagine, overcoming that obstacle can be scary to divulge OR empowering. It depends on how much you are willing to gamble out of fear. I embrace my struggles and tell my truths, which I will be doing much more of moving forward. I am a truthteller by nature. You don’t get my fluffy version; you get unadulterated candor. You get raw emotions that are real, authentic, and, yes, sometimes scary. 

Having a severe learning disability cultivated a sense of constant fear but also an incredible sense of brazen defiance of failure. Sitting on my mother’s lap, she would read to me, and the warmth of her embrace, the smell of coffee on her breath, and the inflection in her voice as she played out each character will always be one of my cherished memories. She was my first teacher, and I fell in love with the stories through her enthusiasm. It was all I wanted to do. Read, write, and listen to the sweet sound of my mother as she read to me daily. 

However, it wasn’t long before my teachers knew I was having difficulties at school. I remember sitting and listening to the teacher give instructions, excited to learn. Then, as I would begin tracing the letters, my brain would race, never being able to marry the letters and the sounds together.  The words would be jumbled, the letters backward, the sounds never entirely made sense to me, and despite my efforts, I never could understand the story.

Being a “good girl,” I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but I would squirm in my chair and hope the other kids wouldn’t notice. Yet it didn’t stop me from participating or even my love for reading. I would spend hours in my room alone, sounding out the words frustrated, lonely, embarrassed, but never defeated. Sure, there were many tears, but my first teacher, my mother, would never let me give up. She would remind me to stay focused and assure me that everyone learns differently. Those words stuck with me fiercely, only providing more of an appetite to improve. 

I almost always had a book in my hand, intoxicated by its smell, a dictionary not too far away, and a will so strong that it would be impossible for me not to succeed. My challenges didn’t put water on my fire; they ignited my passion further. I worked hard, and by the time I was in junior high, I excelled in English, writing, and reading, landing myself a spot on the school newspaper. I went on to college with a passion for law, and though I wanted to study journalism out of fear, I didn’t, a regret I still hold today. That regret is a poignant reminder not to allow fear to dictate my decisions.

The point is, had I allowed the struggles to overcome my passion, I would have simply given up. I remained steadfast, knowing my place in the world was more significant than my disability. 

This notion goes far beyond my struggles with reading, though. My fight and strong will have led me to success in many different aspects of life.

It hasn’t always been easy or graceful, but it turned my pain into something more, something even beautiful. When my world imploded unexpectedly, I thought I was over. Little did I know that I had just begun. Overwhelmed with fear, I started a master’s program, finished a novel, and started a podcast and blog as I unapologetically continued to shine, fearful but determined. 

This week on my podcast, I will discuss in greater detail my journey and how it affects the characters, plots, themes, and stories I write. 

I encourage you to be brave. Tell your story. Tell your truth, even if you are afraid. 

A great story always has a rising action.

Write on.

With love and gratitude,

~dlm